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03 July 2018 @ 11:31 pm

omg this blog is 10 years old

22 December 2017 @ 08:19 pm

I haven't logged in years

totally forgot my password


hello I am alive

and a medical student now


I probably don't have to use this platform anymore

but I'm here because of Arashi still :3

24 February 2013 @ 10:36 pm
Let's all take a moment and appreciate Robert Downey Jr.

It's just Ironman him being emo and lip-syncing to the song. But who wouldn't watch RDJ just walk around and sing?! Man RDJ sure looks young here! and handsome askhjaf;sd

I Want Love by Elton John (2001)
08 February 2013 @ 01:41 am
I know that this is some people would call something petty to be worrying about which is probably why I never talk about it. That's why I decided to write it here, so I can talk about things without really saying it and without wanting to be heard.

I hate my ugly self. I am such a fatass nobody is probably going to like me.

Its embarassing to even look at myself. Its embarassing to even buy clothes and know they don't have your size or you can't fit. I cant even wear all those nice dresses cuz they don't look good on me. Sometimes I wish I could dress nicer, but I can't because I don't have the body to fit those clothes.

Everytime I've tried to tell myself its okay, I always get betrayed by the mirror or a comment or something. I hate how when you see people for a long time they go "tumaba ka" or "bumibilog ka ata" or something like that. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU. THAT DOESNT FUCKING MEAN "HEY NICE SEEING YOU AGAIN". I know its characteristic of Filipinos to be able to talk about personal things and I understand but I really don't like this trait in particular.

Everythings okay until feelings get hurt. Or until I can keep pretending I'm okay. Its even hard for me to tell people that the reason I'm crying is that I just feel so fucking insecure with myself.

A lot of times, I stop myself from having to go in front of people because I'm fat. I love to dance but someitimes I feel so ugly standing next to those other girls. Nobody wants  to see a fat girl dance. Its not beautiful, its not cool. A lot of times I lose my confidence because of these things and I just don't want to even face the world anymore.

But you know what the icing over the cake is? I've got a lot of pretty and fit and beautiful friends who keep saying to themselves "I'm so fat". Really? YOU? FAT?! How can these people even say this about themselves when they can fit into a small!? I find it so irritating, so insulting for them to say that. I mean sure, a lot of people can be insecure about themselves but to say that in front of me? I HATE IT. YOU AREN'T FAT. You are pretty and beautiful and people like you and you can do so much more than I can! JUST LOOK AT ME WILL YOU. I have this theory that the only reason they can actually say that is because they know deep inside they aren't. In fact they can say those words because chances are there's somebody who's going to tell them "aww...no you're not!" and comfort them. But can I complain and say that? OF COURSE NOT. If I complained "I'm sooo fat" people wouldn't say anything! They wouldn't be able to comfort me BECAUSE IT'S TRUE. They'd either agree or stay silent and it would get awkward and just- NO. I can't face that kind of humiliation.

I don't want to just rant here so lemme just say I've been trying to do something about it. I try to exercise when I can and I even measure the amout of rice I eat. I don't eat till I'm full and try to eat healthy snacks. Tomorrow I'll prbably exercise again if I make time. But who knows when I'm going to be normal. Maybe I should just stop eating but I truthfully know I cant do that because my body will rebel against me. I don't know anymore. There's not always time for exercise because of all the school work and I can't just NOT eat. Fuck.

Maybe if you bully me enough, maybe if you keep telling me how fat I am, and maybe if you show me just how much better you feel about yourself, I can finally change myself. How I long to be confident with my own skin. and to be liked. and to just be told I'm pretty.
23 January 2013 @ 05:42 pm

Long long fanaccount since this concert had 6 groups but you guys can just check out the ones you wanna read :)

This is probably one of the most tiring concerts I’ve been to. But it was well worth it to see your idols :)) I’ll skip over the opening acts and go straight to the concert. BTW, my ticket was just Bronze so I don’t really know who does some of the things in particular but I’ll try to recall as much as I can! I also have videos of the interview parts :D

Each artist performed up to 5 songs and usually after the first song, they do introductions and the emcee, Kring, Elenzano, interviews them for a bit. After a couple more songs, they have the longer interview just before their last performance. They also had fireworks during some of the songs.

Infinite was first up. They sang The Chaser, Paradise, 그해여름" (In the Summer), BTD, Be Mine, and Nothings Over.

Read more on InfiniteCollapse )

Tasty - You Know Me, SOLO

Read more on TastyCollapse )

U-KISS - Bingeul Bingeul, Stop Girl, Believe, Someday, Shiggeureo (Be Quiet), Man Man Ha Ni

Read more on U-KISSCollapse )

Tahiti – Hasta Luego, Tonight, ???/Gangnam Style, Wannabe (Spice Girls), Pretty Face

Read more on TahitiCollapse )

EXO- MAMA, What Is Love, Two Moons, Open Arms, Hawak Kamay, History

Read more on EXOCollapse )

Girls Generation - Genie, The Boys, Hoot, Dancing Queen, Gee, I Got A Boy

Read more on SNSDCollapse )

Okay this concert was really great and I’m so glad I didn’t miss it even if I was in the back section but it also lacked a lot of organization.

Reaction and commentsCollapse )

07 December 2012 @ 12:35 am
And I'm not talking about the ones in your sleep. I'm talking about the ones you stay up all night thinking about.

Read more...Collapse )
Current Mood: confusedconfused

We were seated in the Upper Box area which gave us a good view of the whole stage. Unfortunately I didn't take any fancams or pictures. So here are some of the talking parts that I remember! :))

Read more...Collapse )OMG they were all seriously handsome and cute and salkfja;shf! This is one of the best concerts I've been to. They had fireworks and fire, and since the Mall of Asia Arena was new the screens were really nice too. It was like a party seeing how everybody was having so much fun! I love how they really tried to speak Tagalog and English and try to communicate with us. Seungri's English was so funny though. BUT AAAAAHHHH!!! I HAVE SO MANY FEELS FOR THEM RIGHT NOW.

Pictures of the stage:

Current Mood: excitedexcited
Current Music: Bigbang - Fantastic Baby
18 August 2012 @ 03:52 pm
So Lui an I go to went to the airport after the show in Trinoma to see them off. When we got to the departures area there were already a lot of fans there. Maybe 30 or so.

Fans were by the left entrance (the one further away) and the security put them behind some carts. A lot of security were also telling us to stay in that area and not block the way. We stayed somewhere in the middle between the two entrances. Suddenly white vans with "Bench" signs arrived and everybody was on alert. Some Korean staff got off and went inside the left entrance where everyone was waiting. The security kept telling everyone to back up and stay out of the driveway. After a few minutes, Siwon and Donghae had not come down from any of the vans. But we were just waiting.

My cousin and I went back to the middle area and waited there. At least we could see if any cars would be coming. Just in time, another white van arrived but stopped in front of the right entrance. We went there and there were also security guards already. I was holding the crowd back but some girls still cut in front of me. We could see Siwon in the car from the windshield. He was wearing a black bonnet with his SOL REPUBLIC headphones. The security even put these baggage trolleys in front of us to "control" the crowd. After quite a while they finally opened the van. 2 managers including Prince Manager came out then Donghae followed by Siwon. Donghae was wearing a black cap and the face mask. They waved goodbye to us and then went inside.

From my experience, they should've just let the boys down and into the airport as soon as the van pulled up. It would've been faster. When they put those trolleys in front of us and waited, it just attracted more attention. But anyway that's just my personal opinion.

So glad I still saw them at the airport :D Will upload the fancam soon!
Current Mood: cheerfulcheerful
16 August 2012 @ 02:36 am
Trinoma Activity Center

I got to the area at around 11am and there were already ELFs positioned near the barricades and the balconies of the 2nd-4th floors. I was with my cousin @coffelui and we were in front of the barricade facing the stage but on the right side. They were playing Super Junior songs while the fans were chanting or singing along. Some of the songs that were played were the ff:
-Believe (first song)
-Sexy, Free & Single, From U, Gulliver, Ppappiyong (Butterfly)
-Twins, You Are The One (like 2 or 3 times) Rock This House, So I
-Dancing Out
-Sorry Sorry
-Victory Korea
-Some OST songs by SJ
-The Night Chicago Died
-Missin U
-A Man In Love
-U (Mandarin)
-Concert versions of Song For You (played twice), Rokuko, The Way Idols Break Up (Heechul), Gee
-Shining Star
-Happy together
-Super Girl (Korean), Blue Tomorrow, Off My Mind (Henry)
-Snow White, Opera
-Mr. Simple (like 4 times!)

that's the general order but I'm not really sure :)) They also played a few English songs in between during the first part [Payphone, Call Me Maybe, Turn Up The Music, Moves Like Jagger] which made the fans go "Booo!" whenever they stopped the SJ songs XD They were even tweeting and wrote signs that said “play SJ songs”

So at around 1PM, they had already been letting people inside the barricaded area/activity area. There was also a raffle for 50 fans to get an autographed item so some fans were led to the side as soon as they got in.

While waiting for 5PM, they were just playing songs and there was also a twitter feed of #SiHaeInManila on the screens in front. There were a lot of tweets about the songs or Siwon and Donghae. There were even tweets saying Donghae was feeling sick and got a slight headache before the show.

The cameraman was also focusing on the crowd and a lot of fansigns. It was really funny! Like "Samho ♥ Myeolchi", a picture of eunhyuk as a baby that said "Siwon our son is looking for you", a picture of Heechul as "SPY GIRL", and there was even a big tarp for Prince Manager! Of course there were also Super Show 5 in Manila signs and SiHae! It was really fun to look at and felt like a big concert.

Anyway, around 3:30, about maybe 3/4 of the area was seated already. Then suddenly the boucers and staff had told people to stand up and they started stacking the chairs. According to them since people would be standing up anyway they decided to make it standing. Then the Bench staff were holding up stubs saying that those who had could go in. I had a stub so I left Lui and Dux to go to the entrance. A lot of pushing just so you know. I got in and they gave me a poster of SiHae as well. I gave it to Lui though since I know it'll just get crushed in the activity area. I wasn't in front but I could see the stage if I stood on my toes. Bench also let in some people who had Sorry Sorry shirts on. In other words, a lot of people were in the activity area.

at 4:30, Jinri Park got on stage to say hi to everybody and did some introductions. Then they raffled off 10 winners to get a signed shirt, 10 to get a signed poster and 13 to get a group picture with SiHae [not sure about the numbers so correct me if I'm wrong]. They only raffled from the original 700 winners so those who were let in weren't included.

The event started past 5PM already but people were really excited. As soon as Siwon and Donghae came out there was really a lot of screaming! Crazy! The mics weren't very clear so i couldn't understand a lot of the interview. And the screams were so loud that Donghae even motioned his hands downwards like "calm DOWN people" before he answered a question :)) SiHae did introductions in English - "We are super junior!" but mostly in Korean and Jinri translated.

Some parts that I did understand: Siwon mentioned something about their Kyochon CF shooting early this year with Kyuhyun and Eunhyuk. There was also a question about where would they like to go in the Philippines. Siwon answered Cebu and Donghae said he wanted to visit Boracay with fans. They said some Filipino phrases! Siwon said "Philippines maganda" and Donghae said "Mamimiss ko kayo! Mahal ko kayo!" so adorable :)) ELFs were also chanting "SS5!" a lot and Siwon even asked "what did you say?" but I think Donghae understood it :)) At the end they did their thanks for the support for Sexy, Free & Single and coming out. Siwon said something in English along the lines of them praying for us becuase of the floods and all. Siwon also said "Just remember I'm always praying for you guys okay? God is great. I love you so much" :"> so sweet!  They said I love you and thank you (in English) a lot at the end too!

Next was the signing part and the group picture. they would sign the shirt together and hand it to the fans, usually with a handshake or high five. Prince Manager was also on stage and holding the shirts :)) For the posters, they just handed them out and gave hanshakes as well. There was even a mom who had a little kid with her and Siwon said hi to the kid as well XD Last was the group picture and the two had their hands over some of the fans' shoulders so some of them spazzed because of that :)) they also shaked hands and all. There was of course a commemorative picture with Mr. Ben Chan and Mrs. Nenita Lim and they gave Siwon and Donghae flowers.

It ended with their thanks and they took a picture with the fans! And played Sexy, Free and Single [parang music show lang!] YAY!

PERSONAL OPINION [or possibly the ugly side of the story]:Collapse )

I'm really thankful for Bench for bringing Siwon and Donghae here. I congratulate them for pulling off an event like this. It wasn't very long but for me it was good enough to see them [that and I was seriuosly uncomfortable in the crowd]. And SiHae seemed to really appreciate the effort of the fans :) I'm really happy for all those who got all the feels today. Especially the ones who won during the raffle and got to get close to Siwon and Donghae :D I'm really thankful for Siwon and Donghae as well since they haven't been here for official activities in a while and when I saw their tweets I got...really sappy Q_Q I LOVE THEM SO MUCH. GUH.


Here's an article with most of the highlights: The Super Junior Fanmeet for Bench
Current Mood: accomplishedaccomplished
06 May 2012 @ 09:08 pm
I still remember watching the movie, Selena, with Jennifer Lopez when I was young. And it was probably one of the first times I heard the song and its become timeless for me. I always get a little nostalgic listening to it since it reminds me of the times I'd watch it on the TV in my parent's bedroom. I also cried when I saw it as well. Although I've never actually seen the official music video so here's Dreaming Of You by Selena (1995).

Current Mood: nostalgicnostalgic